Separation Anxiety in Babies – It's Not A Bad Thing

I remember going through the “separation anxiety” stage when my daughter was 7 months old. I went to work for my old boss temporarily while she was recovering from surgery so instead of spending every second of the day with my daughter, I was spending 8 hours apart from her every day.

It was a big change for both of us, and also perfectly normal that we both cried every morning before I headed to work.

Almost every child will go through separation anxiety. At what age differs greatly – it could start before they turn a year old (like my daughter) or it could start when they begin their first day of school.

My son just got over his separation anxiety and he turned 3 years old in February.

Separation anxiety in babies is completely normal and healthy. It shows signs of bonding between you and your child. It doesn’t mean it’s easy though.

Babies with separation anxiety may cry every time you leave the room while toddlers will throw tantrums when you take them to daycare or preschool. Whatever the situation, it’s not pleasant! However, this is a learning opportunity for them because they’re figuring out recognition and trust.

How to cope with separation anxiety

My solution for dealing with separation anxiety? Quick goodbyes and distraction.

When I left my daughter to go to work, I’d say good bye and leave (and sob all the way to the car!). Hanging around and trying to calm her down just made the situation even worse. She picked up on my own anxiety and it would get her worked up even more.

My mom was watching her during the day so we also made sure to have some sort of distraction while I left like a video or breakfast.

Speaking of my mom, her solution when I was going through separation anxiety was to leave me with her sweater. She used to work very early hours and I wouldn’t let her leave so she gave me her sweater to sleep with like a teddy bear. Worked like a charm.

As for my own adventures to work every morning, sneaking out of the house was sometimes the only way. It was easy, but I wanted my daughter to learn how to deal with it so I avoided “sneaking” as much as possible. As much as I would have loved to spend all my time with her, it just wasn’t possible. She needed to learn how to be OK without me and she needed to trust other people. Sneaking out just prolonged that learning experience.

It was difficult while it lasted, but it didn’t go on for more than a month. If it lasts longer than you think it should, and it’s affecting their eating and sleeping habits, you may want to ask for some advice from your doctor. In the majority of cases though, it passes with time just like teething. It may be tough, but it’s all part of the process!

You can learn more about separation anxiety and how to cope with it here.